Are you holding on too tightly?

Over the weekend Ethan and I went climbing on the Wilyabrup cliffs near Margaret River. (I’m the small, uncomfortable-looking human near the top!!)

It was the main challenge that he set himself as part of his school’s year 9 Rite Journey.

A beautiful truth that re-emerged is that when you do things together everyone has the opportunity to learn from the experiences of others. Teams who learn together, grow together.

I’m in no way an expert climber but we did learn a lot about ourselves this weekend.

I hope you can take something from our experience to apply to your own life, leadership and performance journey.

Here’s what we learnt:

1.     Climbing requires a lot of trusts, in a lot of different things     

As part of the setup process our guide, John, took us slowly and methodically through all of the equipment and buddy check processes to make sure that we were as safe as possible.

Even though we had the theoretical knowledge that we were safe, the reality of climbing leans heavily towards you putting your life and your trust into the hands of others and the integrity of the systems that have been set up.

You need to trust the ropes will hold you, you need to trust your shoes will stick to the rock, you need to trust the strength of the rock itself, you need to trust your belayer will keep his focus and most important you need to trust and believe in yourself.

It’s a game of capacity, capability and conviction.

2.     Climbing higher than you’ve been before takes courage

The higher you go the scarier it gets, especially if you are climbing at heights you aren’t accustomed to.

The reality, however, is it’s no more dangerous. It just feels like it is.

Having the courage to stay calm, present and focus your attention on the process of climbing without worrying about how high you’ve managed to climb is the most effective way to keep going.

3.     Falling (or failing) is part of the process.

Inevitably when you’re climbing you will reach a physical, mental or emotional limit.

As soon as you reach one of these limits, you’re going to fall off the face.

An important message that John reminded us of is that

“falling is part of the process. Falling is not failing. It’s simply climbing’s way of showing you that some part of the way you approached that climb has room for improvement. Your job is to work out which bits need focus and attention.”

4.     Holding on too tightly doesn’t work

The key to climbing is momentum and moving smoothly.

As soon as you get stuck in one spot you start holding on. And the longer you hold on, the harder you hold on. Lactic acid and muscle fatigue sets in very quickly.

As soon as you feel yourself getting stuck, try another way.

Seek out another foothold, another handhold, another perspective. Whatever you do, don’t stay still or lose your momentum. Being static for too long will throw one of your three energies out of balance.

It’s the momentum that reduces inner tension, so focus on keeping moving. Small moves make a massive difference.

Holding on too tightly simply doesn’t work.

5. Let others you trust guide you

When you’re on a new face or find yourself in unfamiliar territory, it’s hard to see the next move. You’re simply too close to the situation.

Typically, it’s little to do with your capacity or capability and everything to do with conviction. Believe that you can reach that next hold and trust that the system will support you.

Before you lose momentum and start holding on too tightly, ask others for help.

Give them your trust and let them guide you gently to feel around for the next move that feels right.

It’s been a big weekend of learning for Ethan and me.

We climbed, we fell, we scared ourselves stupid, we held on way too tightly and eventually, we asked for help.

But, possibly more important than anything, we learnt how to grow together.

I trust you can take something from what we learnt and that you can apply it to your own life, leadership and performance journey.

Here are some useful questions to consider for yourself and to discuss with your team:

• Do you trust in yourself and the systems you’ve surrounded yourself with?

• Have you developed the courage to go higher than you’ve ever been?

• Have you learnt to balance your energies, knowing that falling is part of the process?

• Are you holding on to anything too tightly?

• Are you asking for support and guidance at the time when you need it?

• Are you exploring and learning how to grow together?